What do you want to be, when you grow up?

The grownups always ask this question, ‘What you want to be, when you grow up? Despite the fact that they themselves haven’t found the answer yet.

But I really wish I knew then what it is that I wanted to do or be. This question has haunted me for years. Right through my selection of college, subjects, interviews, jobs, countries and then leaving all of that behind and coming back to nothing but just this single question, ‘What do I want to be? ‘

It all boils down to this in the end. 

I must have asked this question a million times to myself, to others , to books, to videos, to mentors, teachers ……and everyone sent me back empty handed as they said the answer lied within me.

If the answer lies within me, why doesn’t it show up as clear as day sky? Why does it hide, why does it play games? Why does it behave like some sort of magical power that you must earn?

I remember back in the day when I was a little girl, I knew I had no big ambitions to become successful or rich or to have a position of power. And not having this ambition worried me as everyone said you must dream big in this way. You must achieve some sort of success.

I imagined myself to be a wife or a mother taking care of my family, giving and receiving love with one another and going with the flow of life.

The world asked me to sharpen my logical mind, analytical capabilities, manipulative abilities, crooked thinking and everything you need to be a survivor and achiever here.

But they didn’t know that I simply wanted to be a dreamer, an expresser of my dreams, a helper, a listener, a friend.

Why do we struggle so much to put titles and labels on us. Why do we let ourselves be defined in only one way. Why can’t we keep it open?

After about 12 or so years of working in IT industry in various roles and capabilities, I had an epiphany that urged me to leave what I was doing and follow something that my heart resonated with. I still don’t know what the name for that is. But it flows through me in various creative expressions.

It flows through the essence of me and not just what the world wants me to be.  I feel I am in the flow when I do this, may it be writing my heart out, my poems, teaching yoga, making a video of my journeys, connecting with people and helping them see their potential, and sharing lots and lots of love in the process.

I feel lessened or weakened as I try to fit into the world that wants me to be in certain way, talk in certain way or believe in certain way. Nobody should be bound in this way. All are free to be just who they came here to be.

And when you start following what you truly are, you might get less support, less friends and less resources but at the same time you are gaining strength of your heart, of your will power, of your bravery, and if nothing else love for yourself and in turn others.

You are getting in your flow. This flow is what will keep you going, guide you, support you and help you grow. The flow makes you feel effortless and completely immersed in your truth. There are no struggles, power controls or manipulations required. No strategies to be hatched and no games to be played. You simply be who you are and everything follows.

Sounds magical? Impossible?

I bet you all have experienced a flow sometime in your life. As you were completely immersed in the activity that you enjoyed, you lost track of time and you created or expressed something wonderful.

That my friends, is your flow. It makes you feel whole, connected, loved and an integral part of the life on this planet. It helps you discover more and more as you take each step and uncovers the potentials from deep within you. It urges you to face the fears and hold you up strong in your heart.

I know the answer now, if anyone asked me, what I wanted to be when I grew up. The answer would simply be: ME!