The grey matter


“Mumma, can you tell me a story?” my 4 year old son asked.

It was one of those days when I had used up all my stocked up stories and now would have to create a new one from my tired brain. I grumbled for a while and reluctantly started off with ‘Once upon a time’.

He then interrupted me by asking, “Is there a bad guy in this story?”

I scratched my head and thought, I shouldn’t be telling him about bad people. So I said, “No dear, it is a story of a little girl”.

“Mumma, there has to be a bad guy or else it won’t be a story” he said flatly.

I was so bowled over by his comment that I forgot the story I was weaving for him.

A bad guy was as important as the good guy for him? He seemed to love both the hero and the anti-hero equally.  And why should I blame him? Do we all not rejoice the deadly Villan in the movies and the heroic fights between the good and the bad? If there is no struggle, no sad moment, no evil or absolutely no negativity in one’s life, the story of that life is of no interest to anyone.

It was mindboggling as I thought more about this. We all want be good all the time, be right all the time but would we be happy if our life was always, always on the so called ‘good’ track?

Will we be satisfied if we never did a single wrong thing in life?

Will we love a person if he is 100% right all the time?

And if the answer to all of above is No, then we are clearly lying to ourselves by saying ‘I want to be right all the time’

We often set out to judge people as either good or bad but the truth is there is no absolute good or absolute bad. All the thoughts, emotions, notions, judgements that form the basis of good and bad are present in everyone’s mind and there is no denying that. Being a good person seems to be more about what we choose to act on or how skilfully we shove the bad thoughts under the carpet of our brain than what we really feel in that one moment of rage or jealousy.

The contrast of Black and White on this screen of life seems to be balancing against each other. I have never met a man who is 100% wrong all the time or 100% right. The world as I see it is mostly shades of grey. The only difference is some people are more on the darker shades than others while some are almost white.

Taking this even further, there might be no such thing as bad and good or right and wrong.

The notions of good and bad are deeply imbibed in us through our traditions, customs, teachings, laws and imitation of others. If someone snatches this off from our mind and we happen to be that one person who knows nothing about behaviour, I am sure he/she will try out all actions termed ‘Good and bad’ before making up their mind about how to behave.

Toddlers at the age of 2-3 seemed to do this exact thing. They hit you, bite you, throw tantrums, love you, laugh at you, cuddle you, get stubborn, get jealous and behave almost like a teenager trying to find their way in life. This is where we are testing the water before we make up a behavioural pattern that suits us and the society around us. The pattern keeps evolving based on the external environment and eventually starts shaping our personalities.

So I told my son, “Well there is a bad guy in this story but he is not that bad. He happens to be little good too.”

After all, how could we be either white or black if our brain is full of grey matter?

Comments

  1. Gaurav Ranjit14 September 2016 at 11:16

    enjoyed reading your article !! tad bit of cutness these kids have now days.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Nil Arte17 October 2016 at 07:47

    Mhasvekar sir also said Tejasvini should be grey ;)

    ReplyDelete

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